Dealing with Disappointment

In life, disappointment and the hurt it causes is sometimes hard to handle. We often win but we also lose sometimes.  Whether it is at work, in our personal relationships or just a game, losing can be difficult. 

Even though we are blessed with many "wins" (babies saved and lives changed), we have found it hard sometimes to "lose" in our Crisis Pregnancy Center ministry.  It is especially painful when the loss results in a hurting young woman and a dead baby.  We sometimes wonder why God would have sent a particular case to our center if the result was not going to be a "win"?  Of course, we are talking about OUR definition of a "win", not necessarily God's.  How can we presume to know the heart and mind of God?

We need to accept that God used us for His purpose at that moment and we may not know the reason or even the ultimate result or outcome.  We may be planting a seed along the way in someone's life which could result in a changed and/or saved life in the future.  We may never know the impact we have had in the lives of others until we are in heaven.

Our hearts, in their humanness, cry out to God over the destruction and loss we see day in and day out.  Sometimes we think if we had said or done something differently, it would have affected the outcome.  Not true! 

 If we prayerfully seek God each day and give Him the control, He will speak through us and use us for His purpose each day. 

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:10

Seeing God work in the lives of others is an honor and a privilege.  It is AMAZING to see lives saved and transformed!  We move on and move forward and anxiously await our next phone call or visit.

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Phillipians 4:8

Praying for Ally

17 week ultrasound

In the end, as the law stands, we still have the choice to end the life of our baby.  We met Ally 4 weeks ago when she was 13 weeks pregnant.  She and her boyfriend came in for counseling and an ultrasound.  They didn't have any intention at the time to abort their baby.  They laughed and smiled at the ultrasound screen.

Ally, an immature 19 year old, was concerned about telling her mother.  Ally is a pleaser and knew her mother would be disappointed and upset.  She was.

On Tuesday, Ally called our Crisis Pregnancy Center office to tell us her mother had made an appointment for Wednesday at an abortion clinic in Los Angeles.  At 17 weeks pregnant, she could no longer go to an abortion clinic in the valley.  This would be a 2-3 day procedure.  We talked with Ally as she cried on the phone.  She didn't have a ride to get to our office.  Her boyfriend left her because he wanted this baby and Ally was going to end its life.

Ally went to LA with her mother on Wednesday.  She called us crying a number of times.  She didn't have the strength to say no to her mother.  She went in the abortion chamber for the procedure and walked off the table.... she couldn't do it!  Her mother was furious!  The clinic workers talked to her mother and suggested she take Ally to lunch and return in an hour.

Ally couldn't forget the images of her baby's heart beating that she had seen just a few weeks ago!  She told the abortion doctor about this and  he told her it wasn't her baby's heartbeat she heard, it was her own heartbeat!  The baby didn't have a heartbeat!  Ally called our office to question what the doctor had told her. We assured her that what she saw (her baby's heart beating) and what she heard was the truth.

Ally and her mother returned to the clinic after lunch.  Her mother convinced her she had no choice and that her future would be ruined if she had this baby.  The doctor inserted lamanaria to dilate her cervix... she was to return Thursday for the termination.  The abortion procedure at 17 weeks is called a D&E.....  click to learn what this is: http://www.choiceline.org/AbortionInfo/abortionprocedures/tabid/1322/language/en-US/Default.aspx

Thursday morning Ally called our CPC office from her cellphone.  She was hysterical.  She didn't want to have the abortion and wanted it stopped.  Her cervix hadn't dilated enough to finish the procedure so the doctor inserted more lamanaria and told her to return Friday morning.  All day long, Ally called from LA.... her mother wouldn't bring her home.  The doctor told her she could hemmorage or even die if she didn't continue with the abortion.  We could only pray.

Late in the afternoon Ally's mother called me from LA to ask that we not call her daughter because we were upsetting her.  I explained to her mother that Ally was calling us and didn't want to abort her baby.  Her mother was very angry with me at first and told me that I didn't understand how Ally was ruining her life with her loser boyfriend.  This mother's dreams for her daughter were shattered.  Her anger turned to tears over the phone.  I asked Ally's mom if I could pray for her.  She said yes.  I prayed, she said Amen.  She thanked me and we said goodbye.

I don't know the outcome this morning.  God does and nothing is a surprise to him this morning.  I pray for Ally and her precious little 17 week old baby.  I pray for her mother too.  I pray for the abortion doctor.  Lord, help us...... guide us.  Be with these women and with our tireless volunteers who walk through these tragedies and love these men and women everyday.  Thank you for trusting us and using us for your purposes.  Some days we don't understand, we just don't understand.  You do and that is good enough for me this morning.  I put my faith in you.

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.  I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.  Psalm 61:1-4


Follow up on Ally:  Ally texted this week that she went forward with the abortion on Friday morning.  She said she is "full of regret and sorrow".  We told her we love her and we are here for her and hope she will come in to talk.


Have a question about pregnancy, abortion, STDs or sex? Need help? Any age, confidential.

Email birdsbeestalk@gmail.com

High School Junior Challenges "Choice"

My young friend Chelcie White just finished her Junior year in high school.  She is a young woman with a passion and love for God and also a great passion for life.  She has boldly written several papers in her high school career challenging others to question "Choice", its reality and consequences.  Great job Chelcie!  <3





Roe v. Wade: Let’s Define Freedom of Choice

Choice. The definition of choice is “the right, power, or opportunity to choose; an option.” (Dictionary.com) The word choice is a strong word that is taken for granted most of the time. There are hard choices and there are easy choices in life. Now, let’s define freedom. One definition of freedom is “the power to determine action without restraint.” (Dcitionary.com) To me these two words sum up the 1973 judicial case of Roe v. Wade. “In 1973 a momentous decision of the Supreme Court of the United States, Roe v. Wade, established that a women’s right to personal privacy includes her right whether or not she may have an abortion” (Stevens 1). “It was an appeal from the United States District Court for the northern District of Texas. Number 70-18 argued on December 13, 1971 and decided on January 22. 1973” (Cornell.edu). This case was huge because it made abortions legal up to the first 3 months to any woman in the United States.

Women didn’t have to get a “back-alley” abortion illegally anymore because Jane Roe (real name, Norma McCorvey) had fought and won her case on January 22nd, 1973, against Henry Wade. Jane Roe already had two other children and “she didn’t want to give birth, she didn’t want the child, and she didn’t want to go through giving it up” (Tompkins 33). “Texas law prohibited abortions except to save the pregnant woman’s life” (oyez.org), but she used her new found freedom of choice to abort her baby.

But what about the baby’s freedom? It didn’t get the choice or freedom to live because of its mother’s choice to abort it. It even states in the 14th amendment that everyone has the right to live, so now that baby that was aborted cannot even use its own right because abortion takes that away from them. Now because of the 1973 Supreme Court case, Roe v. Wade, legalized abortions in the name of “choice” ending over 52,000,000 lives with no choice. 

12 week ultrasound

There are many questions about it like why do women consider abortion? Why do women get an abortion? What are their reasons? What are the risks of abortion? How many kinds of abortions are there? Abortion is not safe on any level. It can cause physical and emotional damage to the woman that ends in death of the baby but could also end in death of the mother. Jane Roe’s reasoning, to me, was selfish. She didn’t want to give birth maybe because of the pain, or give the child up for adoption because it would be too hard. She straight up didn’t want her child, so she chose to abort it.

There are many reasons as to why women get an abortion. Some reasons are age, marital status, or economic status. A girl could be in her teens and feels she cannot raise a baby or that she will get in trouble by her parents and could get kicked out of the house. Some women who get abortions are not married or are separated from their spouse. Other women just cannot afford to raise a baby. Other reasons for having or considering an abortion are: “concern that having the baby would change their lives and compromise their (and a child’s) future, birth control failure, to prevent the birth of a child with birth defects or severe medical problems, pregnancy resulting from rape or incest, physical or mental conditions that endanger the women’s health if the pregnancy is continued” (women.webmd.com) These are only a few of the many reasons why women get an abortion.


Because of this case in 1973 more than 52,000,000 lives have been ended. That is more than how many people were killed in the holocaust, or many major wars in American history. Most women have to live the rest of their lives with guilt and depression of killing their child. Even though it seemed like the “best” idea at the time, it will eventually come back to haunt them.

I think a better idea for women that are considering abortion is to consider adoption. It’s true it will be hard giving up your child, but the woman will know she is doing a good thing and putting her feelings aside to give her child life. Emotional effects are just half of post abortion. There could also be physical harm as well. After an abortion a woman could experience heavy bleeding, an infection, an incomplete abortion, an allergic reaction to the drugs, tearing of the cervix, scarring of the uterine lining, perforation of the uterus, damage to internal organs, not being able to bare children again, or even death. The list goes on and on. But some women don’t look past the present. They need an abortion to fix the “problem” in their life. Girls don’t want to get in trouble, women cannot afford another child, and so because the baby is an inconvenience to their life, they might as well abort it without thinking about the future.

It’s not the baby’s fault it was conceived, so the parents need to take responsibility for their actions. Abortion is a huge controversy in America today. It is controversial because of religious and moral reasons due to the sanctity of life overrides any reason that a woman could give to justify getting an abortion. In Jeremiah 1:5 it says God knew us before we were born. It says in Jeremiah29:11 that God has a plan for each and every one of us. Why would we want to interfere with His plan? The baby that was aborted today could have made a new scientific discovery or brought even more people to Christ, but because of their mother’s “choice,” they will never get the chance, choice, or freedom to do so.


Works Cited

"Abortion-Reasons Women Choose Abortion." Women's Health Center: Information on Women's Wellness, Nutrition, Fitness, Intimate Questions, and Weight Loss. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Mar. 2011. <http://women.webmd.com/tc/abortion-reasons-women-choose-abortion>.

"Choice | Define Choice at Dictionary.com." Dictionary.com | Free Online Dictionary for English Definitions. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Apr. 2011. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/choice>.

"Freedom | Define Freedom at Dictionary.com." Dictionary.com | Free Online Dictionary for English Definitions. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Apr. 2011. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/freedom>.

"Roe v. Wade." LII | Legal Information Institute at Cornell Law School. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Mar. 2011. <http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/historics/USSC_CR_0410_0113_ZS.html>.

"Roe v. Wade, U.S. Supreme Court Case Summary & Oral Argument." The Oyez Project | U.S. Supreme Court Oral Argument Recordings, Case Abstracts and More. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Mar. 2011. <http://www.oyez.org/cases/1970-1979/1971/1971_70_18>.

Stevens, Leonard A.. The case of Roe v. Wade . New York: G.p. Putnam's Sons, 1996. Print.
Tompkins, Nancy. Roe v. Wade and the fight over life and liberty . New York: Franklin Watts, 1996. Print

"Planned Parenthood Credo"

Cecile Richards
President, PP

Cecile Richards, President of Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion provider, said on this the 2nd anniversary of the death of Dr. George Tiller, the infamous late term abortionist, "We have a credo at Planned Parenthood developed by the late Lynne Randall - which is that we each must strive to be "More Like George"".

Full article:
http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2011/05/23/each-must-strive-more-george

Seriously?
George Tiller, the notorious abortionist, who was one of only 3 abortionists nationwide who provided abortion after the 21st week of pregnancy?  Ms. Richards, these babies can live outside the womb!  Ms. Richards, have  you told women about your abortion procedure after 21 weeks? 

21 Week Baby

Dilation and Extraction (D&X): (20 weeks to Full Term pregnancy)This medical procedure is also known as Partial-Birth Abortion. This  procedure takes three days. For two days, the cervix is dilated and medication is given for cramping. On the third day, the woman receives medication to start labor. The abortion doctor uses ultrasound to identify how the baby's body is facing in the womb. The doctor then positions the baby feet first, face down (breech position). The baby's body is then pulled out of the birth canal except for the head. Scissors are inserted into the base of the skull and an opening is  created. A suction catheter is inserted into the fetus' skull to remove its contents. The skull collapses and the fetus' head passes through the cervix where the baby is removed.

This is what Planned Parenthood calls "reproductive freedom"?  

21 Week Baby

Father God, we lift up Ms. Richards to you and ask that you would change her heart and the hearts of those who would bring harm to the innocent.    

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.  Psalm 37:7

Caitlyn's Story

Caitlyn's Story

    When we arrived at the Crisis Pregnancy Center office on Friday morning, there was a phone message that had been left an hour before from a woman asking if we accepted her insurance.  She was at Planned Parenthood to obtain an abortion for her daughter and they would not accept her particular insurance.  One of our volunteers returned the phone call and Mary answered the phone in a quiet voice (she had thought it may be us returning her call).

    Since she had left us the message at the CPC, they had left Planned Parenthood and found another local abortionist who would perform the abortion at a reduced fee.  When she picked up the phone, Mary (the mother) was actually in the procedure room with her husband and pregnant daughter who had just turned 15 years old a week ago.  

    Mary's voice was panicked and she explained that her daughter had just taken a handful of pills and was about to have an abortion.  She was to have a medical suction abortion.  She did not know what pills her daughter had just taken or even the doctor’s name.  Our client advocate encouraged her to ask the nurse what she had taken and was told she had taken an antibiotic and Benadryl. Mary's voice was shaky as she explained that  she had thought they were going to counsel them prior to the abortion but none was offered. 

     Our client advocate asked if they had researched the doctor in any way and Mary said they had not.  (This doctor has had several incidences in his office and had at one time even had his license suspended because of the death of a patient.)  The client advocate suggested that Mary bring her daughter to the CPC and receive counsel before proceeding with the abortion.  Mary felt trapped there in the procedure room and felt it was too late to just walk out.  The client advocate assured her that the doctor would be there should she decide to return and again encouraged her to take her daughter and leave because she obviously was not sure of their decision.  After encouraging her to leave a number of times, Mary finally agreed and said they were on their way to the CPC.  The women at the CPC gathered and prayed that this family would indeed leave the abortionists’ office and come to the CPC.  About 30 minutes later, they walked in the door. 

    Mary's daughter, Caitlyn, met with a client advocate and Mary counseled with the client advocate she had met on the phone. Mary explained how her plan was that they could obtain an abortion quickly for her young daughter and nobody would know. Caitlyn was a sophomore, an honor student and very active in ASB at her school and Mary felt her image as a “good girl” would be shattered.  Her plan had begun to unravel when her mother (Caitlyn's grandmother) found out.  Grandma was a Christian woman, as are Mary and her family, and she reminded her daughter how “you have not been raised this way” and how it was not the Lord’s plan for Caitlyn to have an abortion. 

    Caitlyn received an ultrasound from our sonographer Kris.  Her parents were in the room to see the 10 week old baby moving and flexing and its tiny heart beating loudly and strong.  They were amazed at the development of the baby and how clearly they could see the heart beat and the fingers and toes moving.  We were hopeful that day, but no decisions were made about whether or not Caitlyn would continue her pregnancy.  Mary called Grandma when they left the CPC and Grandma said she had been at the church all morning praying for them and was relieved that Caitlyn had not obtained the abortion that day.

     We talked to Caitlyn the next week and learned that her mom was taking her to the OB doctor that Friday but that they had not yet made a decision whether she would continue her pregnancy.  On Monday, we called Mary and she was really happy that we called.  She told us that abortion was “off the table” and that her brother and his family in the Midwest have offered to adopt the baby.  She said they weren’t sure if they could “give up the baby” but it was good to have options!!  Oh, what a blessing it is to see how the Lord orchestrated and used each volunteer in such amazing ways to help this family during this difficult and challenging time.  

10 Week Baby

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16    


                                      

Mothers Pushing Daughters to Abort

 It is a very disturbing trend.  Over the years, our youth have become more pro-life, but many mothers remain uninformed and swayed by the "it's my body" values of so many women in the 70s and 80s.  Most of these mothers grew up in the drugs, sex and rock and roll era where women were stepping into the workplace and proclaiming their freedom and power.

   We have counseled thousands of young women over the years in crisis pregnancies.  These young women are in difficult situations as their pregnancy is unplanned.  They feel alone, scared and are feeling overwhelmed.  Taking the time to sit down and discuss their situation with someone who cares is exactly what they need to sort through their feelings, get help and resources and make a plan.  Equipping them with the information they need to know about ALL of their options is key.

Often a daughter comes with her mother seeking an abortion.  When talking with and counseling the daughter, most often she does NOT want an abortion.  It is her mother who is pressuring her to abort her baby.  Often the mothers are angry and hurt and feeling like the plans and dreams they had for their daughter are over.  Mothers feel like they are going to have to raise the baby and are not seeking answers, only a "quick fix".

Through the anger, we often see a mother in turmoil who herself  has unresolved guilt and hurt over a past abortion of her own.  If you ask her the question, "Have you had an abortion?", the floodgates open and the hurt and regret from her past that was laying just below the surface is released.   Loving and caring for the mothers of our young clients makes a difference.  Once mother takes the time to educate herself and think through the options with her daughter, she is more open and willing to support her daughter in making an adoption plan or parenting her soon to be grandchild.

Where Broken Hearts Can Mend - After Abortion

The Post Abortion Support Group (PAS) is a confidential, nonjudgmental and loving group setting for those seeking emotional and spiritual support and healing following the abortion experience.  In the six weekly sessions, we will cover the various aspects of suppressed emotional pain following abortion including regret, remorse, anger, depression, grief, guilt, shame and self condemnation.  Whether it was last month or 25 years ago, we will embrace God's forgiveness and acceptance and we will learn how to create a new relationship with our past, our baby and our Heavenly Father.

PAS group beginning this week in Indio.  All inquiries and participation held in the strictest confidence.  Contact Lisa at  760-568-2200 or TEXT 760-567-9085 or email answers@choiceline.org for more information.  You will be blessed to be part of this healing group!

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven:
A time to tear down and a
time to rebuild,
A time to weep and a time
to laugh,
A time to mourn and a
time to dance.
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
                                            Ecclesiastes 3:1-7